existential

alone

driven into alone

fated to meet over and over

inward path

no need to capitalize

no formalities

you cannot see me doing anything here

i see only myself

yet i see nothing

illusory 

surrounded by all of you

i am unbroken solitude

i cannot occupy you

you stand alone

i fight the descent

the natural fall in

i struggle to find intimacy with you

all the while getting further from we

i cannot see myself reflected in you anymore

i am just as bored of you as i was of me

i left myself to find you

i leave you to find me

where did we go

finally we hurt enough

finally we both suffer the same

i blamed you

you blamed me

i am so joyed at this discovery

i cannot believe it is this simple

i was fighting the surrender this whole time

i was suffering the suffering

i amplified my pain

and yours

ours

but so did you

we mirror each other perfectly

you apathetic

me apathetic

i cannot believe we met this match

we are in bliss

we found the perfect opponent to mirror our absolute solitude

beloved

the static of solitary confinement in open space is maddening

it creates the existential crises

it is through this dark night of the soul that bliss awakens

it is not a passage

it is a sphere of perfect chaos

it surrounds the awakened self

i will always feel alone

you see

i

like you

am invisible

what else could contain everything and be nothing at the same time

what else could continue existence non existence

inside this cloak

more nothing

alone

formless

i am that which cannot be named

yet i exist

i am consciousness



ani